celebrity gossip, academic style

Carey Mulligan, Current Object of My Girlcrush Affection

A girlcrush is, as the name makes clear, a crush on a girl. Usually a star, but not always. For instance, when I first moved to Austin, I totally had a girlcrush on my now-friends CBD, KW, Rebecca, and Katie. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to do with looks; it might have something to do with admiration (of fashion, intelligence, general wit, etc.) Ultimately, a girlcrush, at least in the sense in which I’m describing it, doesn’t communicate that you want to make out with your crush….you just want them to be your BFF and wear your best friend half-necklace and have sleepovers and share closets.

Sometimes, a girlcrush is rooted in a very particular role. I’m not girlcrushing on Carey Mulligan nearly so much as I’m crushing on her character in An Education, Jenny. Part of this has to do with Mulligan’s relative lack of high-profile roles — I mean, who knows, maybe I’ll like her as Michael Douglas’ daughter in Wall Street 2? — but I’ll readily admit that my specific attraction to her is all about her transformation into a sophisticated, if naive, young woman in 1960s Britain; I love her hairdo, I love the way she interacts with Rosamund Pike, I feel profoundly moved and sympathetic with the choice she faces between scholastic achievement and prominence and freewheeling, potentially damaging passion.

But extra-textual components can be a deal-breaker. For instance, I rather loathe her real-life boyfriend, Shia LeBoeuf. But I like her new short pixie haircut, and I’m willing to stomach Mr. Transformers, so long as they can act endearing, at least in public, as depicted over at Lainey Gossip.

But girl crushes can also be far less role-specific in scope. I want Rachel McAdams to come over right now and drink a glass of wine with me and dish on The Gos. I want Emily Blunt to come and discuss 19th century British literature. I want to rewind to the 1930s and be snobby and wear pants with Katharine Hepburn. I’m girlcrushing on these womens’ overarching star images — not on a specific character (although I’m pretty sure that Queen Victoria and I would totally get along).

But this collection of girlcrushes should tell you a tremendous amount about me. Or, rather, it should reveal a pretty straightforward image of the type of woman — and ‘brand’ of femininity — that I favor in a friend. Intelligent, sophisticated, vulnerable, vivacious, articulate. But that’s pretty staid, right? I can’t just want to be friends with people rather like me, only prettier and with better hair?

And that’s where the secret, or at least (somewhat) subversive, girlcrushes come to the fore. For example: you know who I really love? Britney. Always have — in part, I’m sure, due to her cultivation of the image of high school wholesomeness that I attempted to promulgate as well back in the halcyon cheerleader days — but also because I want to take care of her. Especially during the worst days, I wanted to get her on birth control, get her away from KFed, and retreat somewhere to make her safe. Irrational, sure. I mean, the girl, as best explained by Chuck Klosterman in “Bending Spoons with Britney Spears,” isn’t so much vapid as totally freaking oblivious to the mechanisms of fame, not to mention her place within them. I want to give her a friend-t0-friend Celebrity 101 lecture in which I inform her as to the ways in which her image has been formed — and has nothing little to do with her ‘actual’ self, so she can stop reading US Weekly when she goes to get a pedicure (and gets photographed doing it).

Lainey Gossip often frames this sort of affection in terms of wanting to give a girl friends — even if that friend is not you. Lainey, for example, admits to a complicated relationship with Jessica Simpson, in which she basically just wants to have someone, other than Ken Paves or her father, to help her out with life decisions, tell her when she’s dating a douche, and not let her wear bade jeans, just the way that a group of girlfriends would. This is a variation on the girlcrush, somewhat related to my feelings for Britney, that we might call the ‘girlpity.’ You don’t resent that girl so much as just wish she had the same sort of support system that allows you to be a functioning human being.

Importantly, girlcrushes are different than idolizations. You can’t be best friends with your idol. As such, while Angelina Jolie totally enthralls me, I don’t want to be her friend. Not only would she judge me, but I’d probably cower in her presence. She, like Dietrich, Garbo, Liz Taylor, and Grace Kelly, is an Alpha in the world of celebrities; I only aspire to friendship with the J.V. Alphas. To idolize is to place on a pedestal — and from that height, you’ll never be able to have a decent sleepover, let alone share a bottle of wine.

So why air my private affections? My own affections obviously matter very little. What I’m trying to get at, then, is the way that even the most ostensibly rational of us, at least when it comes to stars — I teach and analyze them on a daily basis, afterall — are subject to the sways of affect, identification, and emotional connection.

So think about your own girlcrushes. What do they say about you — and your needs, ideas of friendship, and desires? What are your obvious and less obvious choices? And how does this work differently, if it does, for male mancrushes? Please comment below — I’m fascinated to find out.