Some Incredibly Mixed Emotions on The Help
This is a blog in two parts. The first part deals with the problems. The second deals with the (relatively) promising.
So let’s start here: this story is a problem. I’m not going to use the word “problematic” because it’s a grad student word that makes people roll their eyes. But shit this story is a PROBLEM. I read the book earlier this year at the prompting of several people, and for all of its feel-good-ness, it remains a problem. I could lay out all the reasons here, but I would not do it nearly as incisively or eloquently as those who have gone before me. To start:
*A fantastic write-up on the problems of the book alone.
*The official statement and condemnation from the Association of Black Historians, along with suggestions for reading that will help contextualized/correct understandings of what it was like to be a female domestic in the South in the ’60s.
And on the film:
*The most incisive review of the film I’ve read thus far.
*And a brilliant flow chart on which film (including The Help) will best help white viewers alleviate their white guilt.
(My huge thanks to Kristen Warner for directing me to all of these).
To summarize: the book uses a white woman to tell black women’s stories; the book uses dialect for the black women but not for the white women; the book (and film) make the villains SO INCREDIBLY VILLAINOUS that it’s difficult for anyone to see any of themselves in the characters who are clearly racist.
The book is also a piece of fiction — and this is what I feel like no one is talking about. It did not happen because in all probability there is no way that it could have happened. Most crucially, a character as altruistic and likable as Skeeter could not have happened. It’s not that I don’t like her, but she’s not a real person from the South — she’s from a fairytale.
Racism isn’t something that you just decide you’re not going to acquire, even though all of your friends, family, and townspeople espouse it. It’s not something that goes away just because you love your maid, as evidenced by the vast majority of white women raised by maids who also grew up to be racist. The story is fiction, but it told in a way — interwoven with real life events of the civil rights movement — that encourages audiences to believe that it could have happened, or maybe even did happen. (Classic Hollywood Cinema, a style in which this film is made, aspires to mimesis, or recreating “real life” conditions as closely as possible — and thus encouraging audiences to “lose themselves” in the reality of the situation. The problem, of course, is that this was not a real life situation, but one imagined and marketed towards 21st century audiences who want to distance themselves from the atrocities of the 1960s).
Which brings me to my overarching issue with the book and film. Both portray the situation in 1960s Mississippi as horrible. Atrocious. Racist. No question. But the book (and, to a slightly lesser extent, the film) also posit this historical period as an “unfortunate” time in our past that we have grown past. And that’s what makes this text a problem: framing racism was something that happened in the past, but not today, because events like the (made-up) ones that occurred in this text helped eliminate it.
In these texts, racism is not a systemic and institutionalized problem, but something that takes place between individuals. This set-up suggest that if you, yourself, are not a racist, are not like the villain in this movie, then you’re doing your part to stop racism. Like other films that make white people feel good about the current state of race relations in this country (Crash, Freedom Writers, Dangerous Minds, The Blind Side, the list goes on), the framing of racism as a problem on the individual level makes it easier to dismiss projects like Affirmative Action meant to counteract the very real systematic racism that manifests within contemporary American society.
Case in point: at the end of the film, one of the main black maids is fired from her job, and decides that she will leave her life as a maid and become a writer, having tested her mettle for the collection of stories published as The Help within the context of the film. But the film doesn’t account for how incredibly difficult it would have been for a black woman from Jackson to have her writing published, or even really gesture towards the fact that the only reason these women’s stories were told in the first place was because a white woman talked to another white woman in New York City. The movie ends on a seemingly positive note — one meant to make audiences go home thinking “That Abilene, she’ll do something with her life, she’s free!” — that ignores the material realities of a single, middle-aged, unemployed black woman’s life in the 1960s in Mississippi.
So. All that said. I was really, really expecting this movie to be sappy, saccharine, and extremely offensive in its subliminal racism. I was expecting it to be Freedom Writers. I was expecting to feel embarrassed for my girl Emma Stone for appearing in it.
But here’s the thing: the film is not the atrocity that it could be. That’s not to say that it’s not still a problem — it is — but it is not a bad film. While the narrative proper still has issues, I was somewhat astounded by how the actors in this movie essentially took an original text pained in bold, reductive strokes and injected it with verve and nuance. This is even more unexpected given that the film was released by Touchstone (owned by Disney) and produced by Chris Columbus (amongst others), a.k.a. the people who brought you Remember the Titans and the two lifeless Harry Potter movies. The director and screenwriter had never worked on a big Hollywood film. This film could have been SO. BAD.
But like David Poland from Movie City News, I think that the performances from Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Jessica Chastain are all pretty astounding. Even Howard playing the villain — Poland’s right; she does something a bit more complicated with it than meets the eye. And he’s spot with the comparison of Chastain’s year with Rachel McAdam’s breakthrough year. (It’s really a great read on the industrial realities — I highly recommend his follow up post as well, even if I don’t agree with it entirely). I also love what Allison Janney does with her role, which could have been much, much more of a caricature. (The bit on “courage skipping a generation” is not in the book). Plus True Blood‘s Layfayette (Nelsan Ellis) gets a three-line role, which I so enjoyed, if only to see him dressed the exact opposite of Layfayette.
(But here’s the thing, as pointed out by my friend Kristen and many others — these are some of the *only* mainstream roles for women as talented as Davis, Spencer, and Ellis. To be considered for an Oscar, they have to play asexual and and historically rooted in films directed by and marketed to white audiences.)
In addition to the performances, the film also shifts significantly away from Skeeter and her problems, including her dying mother and love life. Not only does this provide more room to focus on the lives of true hero/victims of the film, but also makes it seem like less of a melodramatic contrivance. Indeed, the feminist in me really loves the fact that Skeeter’s romance feels tacked on — this guy is so tangental to her life, she really doesn’t even mourn him when he decides that she shouldn’t be writing such things. He seriously has like four scenes in the whole film, which is pretty awesomely dismissive.
Some of the critiques of the film speak to the fact that the men in the film (especially the black men in the film, apart from Ellis’s character and a minister) are predominantly absent, or portrayed as deadbeats off-screen. I agree that this is a problem, especially since black men have been symbolically annihilated from so much of our nation’s social and cultural history. But I do love that this film passes the Bechdel Test with flying colors: women appear in scenes with other women NOT TALKING ABOUT MEN all the time.
I mean, this is clearly a women’s film. There are several moments calculated to make you — especially if you are a woman, and have ever babysat, or have ever had frenimies, or have ever had a mother who you loved/despised/came around to understand — cry. And so I did. I’m pretty sure I shed actual tears at six different points.
But does that make it good? I divide movie-crying into two separate categories: the first is from something that evokes some sort of incredibly evocative sensation of something real and tragic. A story that seems real because the film, both narratively and aesthetically, has done the necessary labor to feel emotionally invested in the characters and what happens to them. I put the crying that I do at Terrence Malick films, the crying that I did earlier this summer at Beginners, the crying that I do at Moulin Rouge, the crying that I did at Brokeback Mountain in these categories.
Then there’s crying that I do because I have been manipulated into investing in an unrealistic, hyper-melodramatic story. I feel this way about the way I cry in every Nicholas Sparks adaption (including The Notebook, because the McGosling storyline doesn’t make me cry; it’s the old people dying in bed storyline that makes me cry, and not because of the McGosling back story but because they’re old and “go away together,” which is totally cheap and unfair but damn if I’m not sobbing). This is “being taken advantage of” crying.
I’m pretty sure The Help took advantage of me. Sure, there were parts of the film that evoked my own real life experience as a full-time nanny of other women’s children. But then again, as a white, educated woman, I never had to deal with the Microsoft mothers who employed me accusing me of stealing the silver or telling me that I couldn’t use their bathrooms. So that’s a case of false identification: I cry because the movie encourages me to identify with the maid’s pain, when, in reality, I know nothing of the complexities of her situation, which include (as one of the above blog posts points out) much more complex emotions towards a white child that will most likely grow up to treat her just the same way that her racist mother does.
I’m also wary of my own tears, because crying — and the catharsis it offers — makes us feel as if afterwards, things are better. Both within and outside of the narrative. That hard/sad thing was tough, but now it’s over, and we can move on. And the neat way the film wraps up every story line only encourages that belief. This film doesn’t make me want to make sure that no vestige of this sort of discrimination, racism, and generalized hatred exists today; it makes feel like I can walk away from the movie theater thankful that that chapter in our nation’s history is closed.
So where does this leave us? In some ways, I do think that films like this are important if only to get readers, audiences, and bloggers talking. I wouldn’t have posted on race today if not for this film, and even bad films can start good conversations. I also like the few gestures towards a slightly more holistic view (again, in comparison to the book) of the discrepancies between the material living conditions of the white characters in this film (plantations; feeling sad over scratches in expensive oak tables) and those of the black characters (four children to a bed). More could have been done to address the class issues between whites (which are dealt with more extensively in the book) and how difference, in whatever form (curly hair, white “trash,” smart woman), is treated as a problem to be solved or ignored.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that mainstream Hollywood (and mainstream publishing, for that matter) and mainstream (read: white) audiences have always responded to these types of narratives, in part because they make us feel like the bad parts of our society and ourselves were historical, not contemporary. They’re feel-good the same way that so much of mainstream pop culture is feel good. But like so much feel-good material, the way it produces that feeling is by eliding what makes life so often feel so bad, whether that’s the persistence of class, racial, or gender divisions. I know that entertainment is our way of escaping those problems, but that’s a bull-shit excuse. The more we try to escape them — including by going to films that encourage us to believe that those problems have been overcome — the more they will persist.
J. Lo Rising
So Jennifer Lopez and Marc Antony broke up. So People makes it clear that it’s not amicable with a cover story. So “her side of the story” is on the cover of this week’s Us. So there seem to be a lot of down-and-dirty details, including an email from Lopez’s mom to Ben Affleck. You can find a great recap of the recent hoopla on Lainey.

This is, as Lainey makes clear, good for gossip. But what people aren’t talking about — at least not explicitly — is how good this is for Lopez.
A year ago, Lopez was nearing irrelevancy. When she was suggested for judge position on American Idol, people scoffed. Her collaborations with Marc Antony had tanked (at least stateside) and she seemed a relic of an earlier era — the celebrity antecedent to the Kim Kardashians and Beyonces of the world. (I mean, doesn’t Maid in Manhattan seem like a relic? And Jenny from the Block? AND THAT WEIRD SURVEILLANCY ‘IF YOU HAD MY LOVE’ VIDEO, which I totally watched on repeat as a senior in high school in the basement of my best friend’s house while trying to replicate dance moves? And Selena, GOD, Selena!)
But then there was Affleck, and then there was Gigli, and then there was the break-up and then there was massive overexposure, and then there was Marc Anthony and all sorts of speculation over why she would marry Hispanic Skeletor. (One of the best theories: he told her to move the F away from Miami, and then the paps would stop hassling her. She did, and her life became less of a circus). But as her life became less of a circus, she also became less interesting.
She tried to have babies to make herself interesting. Twins, even! (She might have also wanted to have babies for other reasons, but trust me, readers, she also wanted to have babies to respark interest in her. Just look at Posh. Sometimes I think the baby-making (or baby-adoption; I’m talking to you, Denise Richards) can signify as the most desperate of publicity moves. (TO BE CLEAR: I do not think that celebrities don’t want their babies, or do it simply for publicity. But it is a convenient and strategic by-product). But the twins didn’t work — at least not publicity wise; I’m sure they work as children just fine — and Lopez was left with more failed projects and nickname that just wouldn’t go away, no matter how much she insisted on being called Jennifer Lopez.
But then J. Lo’s fortunes turned. Despite rumors that she would not be hired on American Idol due to “outrageous demands” (her bottled water preferences are very specific), audiences like her, People named her the world’s most beautiful woman, and she’s become highly visible to a broad swath of America once again.

Which might explain how her new album, featuring the single “Up on the Floor” has also done well.
In the video for “On the Floor,” she not only proves that she still has a ridiculous body (I mean seriously, this woman is 41, that’s amazing) but also hails two generations of listeners at once: by allowing Pitbull to call her “J.Lo,” she’s re-embracing the image (and fandom) that made her famous in late ’90s/early 2000s; by having the song feature Pitbull himself, she bolsters her appeal to the Latin market and to the teen market. (Unlike Marc Antony, Pitbull’s recent music has crossed over into the Top 40 mainstream market). The song peaked at #3 on the American charts, giving Lopez her first hit since 2003.
In other words, the music — aka the talent, or the thing that undergirds celebrity — is back. So is the visibility. What was missing, then, was the intrigue — because to be a big-time celebrity in America, you need all three.
Lopez solved that problem last week with the unexpected break-up from Marc Antony…..which then snowballed into the the accusations and the People cover and the tell-all with Us. Which completes the celebrity triangle: talent, visibility, and extra-textual intrigue. She’s back in the gossip mags — which, combined with a hit single and a continuing gig on Idol (plus rumors of a stint on Glee next year) means she’s back in the game.
Obviously, broken marriages suck. But gossip is always the inverse of real life: things that are bad in real life are good gossip; things that are good in real life are bad gossip. And, at least for the time being, things couldn’t be going better — gossip-wise, career-wise, image-wise — for J. Lo, Pt. 2.
But the reason I wrote this wasn’t necessarily to point out that Lopez is a bonafide celebrity again. it’s to point out the ways in which celebrities (with the help of their agents) wield personal developments to their personal benefit. I don’t think it’s necessarily cynical to believe this — it’s just the way that image-making works. It worked like this in classic Hollywood (if not more so) and it continues to work that way today. The timing of this break-up was no mistake, falling, as it did, during a lull in publicity for Lopez, Idol, and her music. The goal for celebrities, whether big time like Angelina Jolie or small time like Jennifer Love Hewitt, is to always have something to keep your name on people’s lips, whether in the form of a hit song, a new movie, “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me,” a new baby, or a break-up.
Jennifer Lopez, the living-breathing-person, probably doesn’t love exploiting her personal life. But Jennifer Lopez, the image, the celebrity, the concept that lives in people’s minds, demands it.
This Week in Arguments: Top 24 Female Stars?
In Bill Simmons’ very Bill Simmonisy article on the Movie Star in today’s Grantland, he makes the argument that 1.) Stars are sold as stars even when they haven’t actually earned the designation (his example: Ryan Reynolds). 2.) The only “real” movie star, as in the only star who consistently brings in huge audiences, is Will Smith, but
3.) Will Smith is a chicken shit when it comes to actually doing anything risky or awesome (at least since Six Degrees of Separation, his first role post-Fresh Prince) and that the fact that he’s the “only” movie star betrays something unsettling about the way that Hollywood (and its audiences) work.
This is all true, and I like the article, in part because it illuminates what a well-placed gossip-generating bit can do for an actor (marriage to ScarJo = tremendous rise in the Ryan Reynolds “stock”) and because it grapples with a question that has confounded analysts, academics, and audiences alike: what makes a star? Is it pure box office gross? Is it charisma? Is it audience affection? How do we define “movie star,” and why does it matter? (It obviously does, otherwise we wouldn’t hash it out so often).
And because this is Bill Simmons, he also employs an elaborate sports metaphor to get at the point he’s trying to make concerning pop culture. In this case, it’s quarterbacks and all-stars.
Reynolds has three things going for him: he’s likable and handsome; he dated and married Scarlett Johanssen at the peak of her buxom powers (getting a nice Us Weekly career boost out of it); and he works in an industry that doesn’t have nearly enough leading men. The third point matters the most. I’d compare the “leading man” position to the NFL’s quarterback position — we need 32 starting QB’s every year regardless of whether we actually have 32 good ones, just like we need 40 to 45 leading men every year regardless of whether have 40 to 45 good ones. That makes Reynolds someone like Alex Smith: he’s a no. 1 draft pick, he has all the tools, you can easily talk yourself into him being good … and then, six games into the season, you realize that you’re not making the Super Bowl with Alex Smith….
…..A good way to think about it: You know how 24 players make the NBA All-Star game every year? Those are the stars for that season. Just because Richard Hamilton made the 2008 All-Star team doesn’t make him an All-Star in 2011. Things change. Careers go up. Careers go down. You pick another All-Star team. It’s really that simple. Of course, Hollywood can be confusing because someone can feel like an All-Star without ever having a good “season.” Reynolds is the best example.
Later in the piece, Simmons takes the idea of the 24-person all-star team and extends it to Hollywood today. Going on the unscientific and unspecific combination of movie-opening, visibility, pay-check, and leading-man-placement, there are 24 stars today:
Smith and Leo; Depp and Cruise; Clooney, Damon and Pitt; Downey and Bale; Hanks and Denzel; Stiller and Sandler; Crowe and Bridges; Carell, Rogen, Ferrell and Galifianakis; Wahlberg and Affleck; Gyllenhall (it kills me to put him on here, but there’s just no way to avoid it); Justin Timberlake (who became a movie star simply by being so famous that he brainwashed us); and amazingly, Kevin James.12 All of them can open any movie in their wheelhouse that’s half-decent; if it’s a well-reviewed movie, even better.
With the exception of Kevin James, I’m pretty much on board, and I like the way he’s put them in pairs that make some sort of weird sense. Except, as noted by one commenter on the blog’s Facebook page [seriously, join, just do it], this list has no women. Now, I don’t think that Simmons doesn’t think that there aren’t female movie stars, but he never explicitly said “I’m talking about male stars.” Maybe it’s that he doesn’t see enough movies with major female stars and considers it outside of his realm of expertise. Maybe that would’ve doubled the length of the article, and he was, after all, talking about Ryan Reynolds and Will Smith. Whatever. What matters, at least for this post, is that we’ve got our work cut out for us. I’m going to start with some sure-things, and then we’ll have to duke it out for the rest.
SO LET’S DO THIS, KIDS. TWENTY-FOUR FEMALE STARS. But maybe we’ll rank them somewhat differently? Going for a score of 50? Totally unscientific but maybe ballparky?
Category 1: Bankability/Box Office Grosses (10 points)
Category 2: Charisma/”Movie star quality” (10 points)
Category 3: Gossip/Visibility (10 points)
Category 4: Prestige/Diversity of films/Oscar bait (10 points)
Category 5: Endurance/Tested-and-True/Even-your-parents-know-who-this-person-is (10 points)
TIER ONE: THE MAINSTAYS
1.) Angelina Jolie
Bankability: 8. Tomb Raider, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Wanted, Salt
Charisma: 10.
Gossip: 10. Do I need to explain this to you?
Prestige: 9. A Mighty Heart, other indie stuff from early career, massive points for global philanthropy efforts.
Endurance: 8.
TOTAL: 45
2.) Sandra Bullock
Bankability: At the moment, 9. The Proposal and The Blind Side both hit it out of the park. Riding that wave with adaptation of Jonathan Franzen’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close with Tom Hanks.
Charisma: 7.
Gossip: A year ago, this was a 10. Today, an 8.
Prestige: 5. I don’t care if she won an Oscar and was all gracious, she still plays the same character over and over again, which is the opposite of “prestige” and what truly makes stars interesting.
Endurance: 10. Speed and Hope Floats to the present. All ages love this woman.
TOTAL: 39
3.) Meryl Streep
Bankability: I can’t believe I’m typing this, but 9. It’s Complicated, Julie & Julia, Mamma Mia, The Devil Wears Prada — lady’s got PULL.
Charisma: 7. She’s not a movie star so much as a phenomenal actress, which means that the charisma gets a bit sublimated in favor of the performance.
Gossip: 1. Which is the fascinating thing about Streep: a movie star with very little extra-textual information available for consumption.
Prestige: 10.
Endurance: 10.
TOTAL: 37
4.) Julia Roberts
Bankability: Used to be a 10, now a 7. Eat Pray Love did well, but Duplicity made everyone question her value. Before that, hadn’t opened a film on her own since Mona Lisa Smile.
Charisma: 10. Yes, horse mouth, etc. etc., but you can’t deny what this woman has.
Gossip: 5. She was gossip’s dream girl for most of her 20s and 30s, but is now super boring.
Prestige: 5. Like Bullock, an Oscar in a role in which you play a slightly different version of your star persona does not equal prestige.
Endurance: 10. After a hiatus to have children, seems to be back in the game. Arguably the only one on this list who’s been a true powerhouse at the box office.
TOTAL: 37
5.) Cameron Diaz
Bankability: 6. Unreliable; seems to have made some poor choices. Bad Teacher, What Happens in Vegas (barf), sure, but also My Sister’s Keeper (poor Alec Baldwin), The Box, and the misfire that was Knight and Day. Even The Holiday (which I kinda secretly like?) was no hit.
Charisma: 7.5 (Funniness is not necessarily movie-star-ness)
Gossip: 8, although I hate that it has everything to do with A-Rod.
Prestige: Used to be a 9, now about a 5. Remember Being John Malkovich?
Endurance: 9. The Mask was in 1995.
TOTAL: 36.5
6.) Reese Witherspoon
Bankability: 6. Sweet Home Alabama, Legally Blonde 1 & 2, Walk the Line, Water for Elephants, but also a bunch of stinkers: Just like Heaven, Rendition, Penelope, Four Christmases, How Do You Know.
Charisma: 9. That face.
Gossip: 6. Much more interesting when she was with Jakey G; a handsome agent is so borrrrrrring.
Prestige: 7. Oscar for Walk the Line, amazingness in Election. Needs another curveball.
Endurance: 8. Remember Man on the Moon? A Far off Place? Girls got legs.
TOTAL: 36
TIER TWO: THE BORDER-LINERS
7.) Natalie Portman
Bankability: 4. Sure, Black Swan, but Your Highness, Brothers, Hesher, No Strings Attached, and The Other Woman all underperformed and/or bombed. Thor also did well, but I wonder how much that had ot do with Portman (I didn’t even really know she was in the movie?)
Charisma: 7.
Gossip: 5. Smart move with the baby-daddy; too bad he’s such a creepazoid. Not like she’s going to sell the baby pictures any time soon.
Prestige: 10. Her movies may not always do well, but the girl’s got guts. Still on the Oscar-high.
Endurance: 8. Picking and choosing ever since The Professional, but still young.
TOTAL: 36
8.) Rachel McAdams
Bankability: 7. She’s not quite strong enough to open a picture on her own — see Morning Glory and State of Play - but she’s getting there. Good showings in The Notebook, Red Eye, The Time Traveler’s Wife, Sherlock Holmes.
Charisma: 10. They don’t call her the next Julia Roberts for nothing.
Gossip: 8. Much higher when she was with The Goz, but we’ll settle for the relationship with Michael Sheen.
Prestige: 7. Attempt at arthouse with Married Life, nothing that’s really stretched her, save the recent turn in Midnight in Paris, which was so deliciously unlikable.
Endurance: 5.
TOTAL: 37
9.) Kate Winslet
Charisma: 7. Something in the eyes.
Gossip: 4. Split from Sam Mendes? Yawn.
Prestige: 10. Even an HBO remake of Mildred Pierce. All prestige, all the time — in fact, maybe she’d do well to do a non-prestige pic?
Endurance: 8. I loved you in Titanic and Sense and Sensibility, young Kate!
TOTAL: 34
10.) Anne Hathaway
Bankability: 6. Hasn’t really proven herself as a leading actress who can pull in audiences — both Devil Wears Prada and Bridewars had major names other than hers. Love and Other Drugs was a disappointment. We’ll see how One Day fares.
Charisma: God I cannot stand her, but 8.
Gossip: After the engaged-to-embezzler-business, nothing much. 6.
Prestige: Rachel Getting Married was a brilliant choice for her star brand.. Plus Becoming Jane, in which I can nearly stand her. 8.
Endurance: Princess Diaries! 6.
11.) Scarlett Johannson
Bankability: 6. She’s a big part of Iron Man 2 and The Avengers, but she’s certainly not the franchise. Hasn’t carried anything big since The Nanny Diaries, which wasn’t a huge success. Lots of supporting roles in ensemble pieces.
Charisma: Once there, now faded. See my earlier piece. 6.
Gossip: 8. Divorce from Ryan Reynolds, dalliance with Sean Penn.
Prestige: 8. The roles in Lost in Translation and Ghost World will carry you a long way. Plus Woody Allen’s new muse.
Endurance: 6.
TOTAL: 44
12.) Halle Berry
Bankability: 3. A string of real bombs: Frankie & Alice, Things We Lost in the Fire, Catwoman, with only the X-Men and Bond Girl roles in between to anchor her.
Charisma: 7. Beguiling.
Gossip: 7. Oh gawd the Gabriel Autrey saga. Plus a baby that’s fifty times ridiculously adorable.
Prestige: Struggling to get her films seen, still an 8 — and with an Oscar.
Endurance: 7.
TOTAL: 32
TIER THREE: THE UNTESTED
13.) Kristen Stewart
Bankability: 7. I realize that this is all tied to the Twilight franchise, but we’ll see how she works outside of it. I do think she has at least the pull of RPattz or Taylor Lautner, both of whom are considered burgeoning stars.
Charisma: 5. Lip-bitting is not charismatic.
Gossip: 9. Very smart move, that falling in love with Edward/RPattz-ness.
Prestige: 8. Lots of risky, financially unsuccessful, but laudable projects, including Runaways and Adventureland (you guys, watch this movie).
Endurance: 3. Again, so much remains to be seen.
TOTAL: 32
14.) Emma Stone
Bankability: 7, which could very quickly become a 9. This girl is ON: after the success of Easy A, she’s in Crazy Stupid Love with The Gos, The Help (pre-sold up the wahtosee), and then the new Mary Jane in Spider-man. She is on the brink of something BIG.
Charisma: 9. She’s got it.
Gossip: 8. Lots of gossip about potential hook-up with Andrew Garfield, her new Spider-man.
Prestige: 3. Nada. The Help is not a prestige picture just because it’s about race relations, people.
Endurance: 2.
TOTAL: 28
15.) Mila Kunis
Bankability: 5. Totally unproven; up next in Friends with Benefits, which looks like it might hit big. We’ll see. Also a movie with Mark Wahlberg, but no huge franchises or projects on the horizon.
Charisma: 8. Holy shit yes.
Gossip: 7. Rumored hook-ups with Timberlake. Long term relationship with Macaulay Caulkin now over.
Prestige: 5. Lesbian sex scene = prestige? But it was in Black Swan…..
Endurance: 2.
TOTAL: 27
***********
Alright. I got 15. We need 9 more. Give me your submissions, ratings, and reasoning? I’ve missed a bunch — Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, Kristen Wiig (???) — but tell me who else? I want to make it clear that there are at least 24 all-stars to go with the males in play. [Or, alternately, fight with me. I'm ready. Bring it. I dare you to say that The Other Boleyn Girl was a good movie.]
Step Up 3 and The Soulless Spectacle
I have a confession that’s not really much of a confession. I LIKE DANCE MOVIES. So does a lot of America, so does a lot of the world. Whether Singin’ in the Rain, old Fred Astaire and Ginger Roberts, or Center Stage, we’re suckers for synchronization on film.
Which is why I should be the perfect candidate for a movie like Step Up 3 (3D while in theaters). All dance, all the time. Indeed, it’s almost entirely eschewed plot in favor of dance, dance practice, and more dance. (The movie is an hour and forty minutes long; I guarantee at least 80 minutes of that are dance in some form). I mean, the plot’s there — there’s a double-cross, dead parents, a mortgage that’s due, adversaries with vaguely evil and explicitly racialized identities — but bygones. It’s all about the dance. Right?
Or so I thought. And so did its producers and distributors. The more dance and spectacle, the better. The more flashing lights, the more elevating Slurpee/make-out scene (has to be seen to be believed; I can only find it on YouTube dubbed in German, which makes it even more ridiculous), the more globally-marked characters (every prospective market in the world!), the more square-jawed-male-protagonists, the more immaculate the dance space (a loft devoted ONLY TO DANCING — this is like the treehouse-no-parents-allowed of dancing, filled with padded walls and foam pits and walls of boom boxes), the more complicated light-suits, the better. Plus a hot guy, a hot girl, a gangly guy who’s a good dancer, and a weird sub-plot about going to school at NYU but realizing that school is for suckers; you’ve just got to DANCE.
But here’s the thing: Step Up 3 is TOO FUCKING MUCH. Too much CGI-assistance, too much light-up dance suits, too much elevating slurpee. I never thought I’d say this, but there’s too much dancing.
It’s the same thing that gets me with Transformers, Iron Man 2, or any of the Pirates sequels: too much spectacle, not enough narrative thread. Now, this balance of narrative and spectacle has a long history — the very earliest cinema was ostensibly devoid of narrative, offering pure spectacle. (Tom Gunning famously, or at least famously within media studies, termed it the “cinema of attractions.”) These short films (usually between 20 seconds and 2 minutes) were all about anticipation, surprise, large objects doing big things that you don’t see everyday, beautiful and/or grotesque people doing unexpected or beautiful things with their bodies, and the promise of sex. Kinda sounds like an action film, right? Trains arriving at a station, a couple preparing to kiss, a vent in New York where people walked by and had their skirts blown up, a strong man flexing for the camera — it was all spectacle, and it was all appealing, especially to people who’d never seen film before. People watched these either on individual players (where you put a penny in, put your eyes to a little scope, and then watched it play out) or, as time went on, in nickelodeons, which were more like what we think of as traditional movie theaters, only in small store fronts in urban areas.
To be somewhat reductive, filmmakers gradually realized that they could make their spectacles more compelling by adding narrative. The most famous examples are the films of Edwin S. Porter (Jack and the Beanstalk, Life of an American Fireman, The Great Train Robbery) and George Melies (A Trip to the Moon), but others quickly caught on and realized that stories sold better than pure spectacle. Crucially, these narratives still had spectacle — in the Great Train Robbery, there’s still hand-tinted coloring, a big fight on a moving train, and, most famously, an end shot with a man pointing a gun at the audience and firing (Scorsese pays homage to this shot at the end of Goodfellas).
As cinema continued to develop, reaching “full length” with the likes of The Birth of a Nation in 1915. Audiences liked these films because they not only told a story, but they did so in a way that was exciting and visually compelling — these were the proto-action films, and the lessons learned from them have endured to today.
But every so often, the balance between narrative and spectacle gets unbalanced, and spectacle takes over, usually ending in critical or fiscal failure.
This can happen in a number of ways.
In the Hollywood of today, it usually has something to do with too much technological manipulation — this happens in Transformers; this doesn’t happen in Lord of the Rings. (It does, however, in Peter Jackson’s King Kong). When a technology is new, then people will go see the overweighted spectacle just for the novelty of it: see, for example, Beowulf, which was the first to really use 3D, or 300, which was the first to make historical figures looks like video game characters. But it wears off, especially when audiences fail to see the display of technology as entertaining. Thus the (relative) failure of dozens of 3D films over the past year.
But films can also collapse under the weight of their stars, as evidenced by Cleopatra, fatally overloaded by the spectacle of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton onscreen together. Tom Cruise (and the spectacle of him in an eye patch) sank Valkyrie. (Of course, A mass of stars does not necessarily sink a movie — see Oceans 11. They just need to be distributed properly). Even the spectacle of an overblown budget (and the publicity for it) can sink a film, best exemplified by the fate of Heaven’s Gate, Ishtar, Last Action Hero, Waterworld, and The Postman.
Which is all to say that when a single part of the movie — star, scandal, CGI robots — becomes “heavier” than the movie as a whole…..then usually the movie ends up stinking, as the film as a whole doesn’t equal the sum of its spectacle parts.
And that’s what’s happened with Step Up 3 — all CGI-assisted dance spectacle, no feeling. The dances in this film are a marvel to behold, but there’s very little feeling of awe. I don’t wonder how can they physically do that because I know the answer: they can’t. Computers did it for them.
Take, for example, the “final battle” scene:
Now, the first round is very non-CGI, very much something you’d see on the likes of So You Think You Can Dance — a show that, like the bulk of talent-based reality programming, is all spectacle, the same way that vaudeville and variety shows were spectacle in their respective eras. And that’s fine; I like it okay.
But then, right around 3:15, it becomes obvious that the film has been edited, sped up, accentuated, and otherwise modified to make the dancing more spectacular than it is. Now, this isn’t to say that the dancers aren’t still amazing — obviously, they are — but because this film needed to one-up what all of the other films had done, the only place to go was to digital manipulation. Which is cool, but really only as cool as watching robots dancing. I don’t feel energized by this scene so much as numbed by it.
What will make me feel something? Is it dancing on air? Upside down? On fire?
See, here’s where it gets tricky: I don’t want more. I want more affect. I want something that will make me feel something. And in that department, less can be infinitely more.
Take, for example, the famous Moses Supposes scene from Singin’ in the Rain, which essentially requires two men, a table, a chair, and some cardboard signs.
Or, even better, the dance studio scene from Center Stage — these performers aren’t gorgeous, there aren’t any specific effects, they’re just “dancing the shit” out of Stevie Wonder. In fact, they’re totally dorky looking, but isn’t there something palpable to this?
OR EVEN BETTER, the dance club scene from the first Step Up, which accounts for 92.2% of my love for Channing Tatum (the other 8.8% comes from the little-seen-but-spectacular Fighting).
Again, this is the dorkiest scene ever, and completely unbelievable, even for people who live in Baltimore and go to an arts magnet school. But wouldn’t you rather watch this like fifty times — especially that weird little part when The Tatum pops his collar — than robots with club clothes on doing, um, the robot? With LED lights on their backs? Doesn’t it make you feel something — maybe it’s excitement, maybe it’s lust, maybe it’s just ‘I want to see that again’ — in a way that the Step Up 3 dance scenes don’t?
The other reason all three of these scenes work is they each tell us something about the characters and their relationship with one another and the world around them. Put differently, it’s spectacle that advances the plot, or that is infused with plot….rather than a YouTube video in the middle of an otherwise bad narrative. The very early filmmakers had to figure out how to integrate the two, and as evidenced by the latest wrath of cold, feelingless summer spectacles, it’s a problem with which filmmakers are still (re?) grappling.
I’m not saying that I need spectacle-based films to have great plots or great acting. This is so obviously not going to happen. I don’t need complicated character development, I don’t even really need plausible narratives. But if the narrative itself doesn’t make me feel anything, then I need the spectacle to take up the slack. And when it’s all spectacle, no heart…..then you’ve also got yourself a soulless piece of art.
Bon Iver, My Backwoods Boyfriend
Is Bon Iver a celebrity?
Well, let’s do the checklist.
Is he a popular figure, known across the nation and/or world?
Well, yes. He wasn’t a year ago, or maybe even six months ago, but the string of performances on late night television qualify him for public figurehood. He recorded albums with Kanye and got his name ON THE COVER sandwiches between Rick Ross and Nicki Minaj.

Is he known for doing something — acting, singing, doing crazy shit, being a celebrity — extremely well?
Obviously. Bon Iver is the best high voice deep woods singer in the universe.
Do we know things about his “extra-textual” (personal) life?
Oh, like the fact that he got mono and broke up with his girlfriend and his band and went to go live in his Dad’s cabin in Wisconsin and wrote all of For Emma, Forever Ago and watched a lot of Northern Exposure and that’s how he first heard “Bon Hiver” (which they say to each other as a greeting in that gem from the mid ’90s) and accidentally transcribed it as “Bon Iver”? Like that?
Is he the object of fandom?
You mean the way that I’ve been watching him sing Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” on continuously loop and fantasizing about the stews I’d make for him in our Wisconsin cabin is called fandom?
WELL OKAY THEN. Bon Iver, celebrity. That means we can gossip about him.
What fascinates me, truly, apart from the fact that I really do conjure up recipes to make for us using only a cast-iron skillet, a wood stove, and my cunning, is how he embodies the appeal of the indie rocker — an appeal that he’s taken somewhat mainstream, reaching its apotheosis in the weeks leading up to/following the release of his second album with appearances on Colbert, Fallon, O’Brien and a highly coveted endorsement (9.5) from the infamously stingy Pitchfork.
The music seduced me two years ago. I seriously went through a phase where I needed to hear it the first thing when I got up and the last thing before I went to bed. There’s something intensely evocative and melancholy and tremendous about the album as a whole, particularly the progression from Song 1 (Skinny Love) through Song 4 (The Wolves Part 1 & 2).
I was first compelled to listen to Bon Iver by Sasha Frere-Jones, the contemporary music critic for The New Yorker, who wrote what can only be called a rave back in January 2009. He goes through the motions of Bon Iver’s creation story, explaining how
Vernon’s story is one of escape and renewal, a road movie that doesn’t spend very long on the road. Three years ago, he was living in Raleigh, North Carolina, playing with friends from Eau Claire in a band called DeYarmond Edison, and dating a woman who is not called Emma. (Emma is a proxy name for a woman he dated years earlier in Eau Claire.) DeYarmond Edison made slow, stately music that was rooted in American acoustic sound, and was vaguely related to old blues and to recent American indie rock. [Editor's note: "Justin Vernon" is Bon Iver's real-person name. I just call him Bon]
And elaborating on how he ended up in a cabin in the middle of the woods in Wisconsin:
Four months later, Vernon experienced a hat trick of bad times: DeYarmond Edison broke up, Vernon split with his girlfriend, and he contracted mononucleosis, which affected his liver. He subsequently spent a lot of time indoors, watching the TV series “Northern Exposure” on DVD. One episode featured the cast greeting a new snowfall in Alaska with the phrase “Bon hiver,” French for “Good winter.” Vernon liked the snow, which reminded him of home, and the phrase, which he first transcribed as “boniverre.” (He later removed the “h” from hiver because the French word reminded him of “liver.”)
And then he talks about the music:
The opening lyrics of “Flume” are both a declaration and a vague confession: “I am my mother’s only one, it’s enough. I wear my garment so it shows—now you know.” It is easy to believe that his lyrics are “sounds that eventually turned into words,” as Vernon once told an interviewer. In “Flume,” the language works best as sound—I listened to the album a dozen times before I looked up the words.
Yes, yes and yes. But I think what really got me was Frere-Jones’ description of seeing Bon Iver, in concert in Town Hall, as he
“….invited the crowd—as he does at every show—to sing along to the song that I find it hardest to get through unscathed, “The Wolves (Act I and II).” The audience was asked to sing five words—“what might have been lost”—which signal the song’s shift from a series of chords that ring without any clear time signature to a steady 3/4 stomp that uses those five words as a main motif. The recorded version doesn’t approach the ruckus that Bon Iver made that evening; as we all sang along, the band pounded harder and harder, blending in little eddies of feedback and clatter. Those words are what get me—joined with melody, they seem like a summary of the entire album, especially with that highly conditional “might.” Trying to keep track of everything lost? Or celebrating what wasn’t? When the band was done, and the crowd had filed out, I was still in my seat.”
I mean, okay, audience sing-along, kinda cheesy, BUT WAIT:
You guys, this was filmed in FRANCE. Even the French are willing to participate! The French are the opposite of cheesy! (Gerald Depardieu accepted). Or, oh my god, look at them singing “For Emma” a cappella in this hallway, I seriously can’t love him and his hoodie any more. LOOK AT ME, JUST PLAYING GUITAR ON THESE STEPS WITH THIS GIANT BEARD, I AM THE CUTEST.
Which is all to say that Sasha Frere-Jones, I too would still be in my seat, conjuring up ways to get backstage. Dear Bon Iver, I will be your Emma, and I will not be forever ago, and I will promise not to break your heart into a billion little indie pieces, just to mend your holy sweaters and make you stew. You suffer from “Skinny Love”? I’ll fatten it up. I make great cookies.
Several months after For Emma, Forever Ago, Vernon released a four-track EP of leftovers. These are all fairly awesome in their enduring Bon Iver way, but the last song on the EP — “In the Woods” — is a marvel to behold. You know how a lot of indie music sounds the same? And you’re like SHIT, is this Death Cab or The Decemberists or My Morning Jacket, I don’t even KNOW ANYMORE? Well this song sounds like nothing else ever, save maybe the soundtrack from some obscure Japanese sci-fi film. Here you go. Enjoy the sweet (and super literal) woods imagery of the fan video. But also enjoy how you after listening it you feel like you might have been hypnotized.
Apparently Kanye heard this track and, being Kanye, decided OH HEY INDIE DUDE, why don’t you fly to Hawaii and record on my new album? Me and Rick Ross and Nicki Minaj will be there smoking weed in the booth, come hang out.
One thing led to another, and suddenly there Bon Iver was, all white and pasty up on the stage with Kanye, John Legend, and the rest of the crew at the Bowery Ballroom, doing his auto-tune howly-thing, and one of my favorite songs from the Kanye album, “Lost in the World,” uses the chorus from “Up in the Woods” as its hook.
The Bon Iver album leaked last month, and he’s been appearing all over the place in the lead up to its release (this past Tuesday). He covered Bonnie Raitt, Colbert told him that the album made him cry a lot (and that his wife did hot yoga to it), Vanity Fair introduced him to a new demographic, and the New York Times ran a four-page profile of him in the Sunday magazine under the title “KANYE’S BOY IN EAU CLAIRE.” And, duh, the new album is great, in part because it’s not “For Girl Number 2, Less Forever Ago.” It does something different, and that something includes a concluding song sounds like he’s having ’80s soft rock’s keyboard love child. (By the way, he does an amazing cover of “I Don’t Want to Use Your Love Tonight,” by The Outfield, also known as the best arena anthem of 1987).
But what’s the deal? Why is this guy everyone’s Backwoods Boyfriend? Why do I have to share? I mean, the guy is an INDIE CHICK MAGNET.
And I have a very straight forward theory as to why. It has two parts.
The first part involves the cabin.
As evidenced by my active fantasies articulated above, a guy alone in a cabin, wearing a lot of flannel, hanging out with his feelings and the wood stove — this is somehow really, really, really amazingly sexy. Sure, there’s the rescue fantasy — Dear Bon Iver, invite me to your cabin, we can share wool socks and I’ll make you less of a sadsack with my charms and melodious laughter — but it’s also about sensitivity. A guy who spends time alone — and produces something soulful and touching from that time alone — not only does it mean that the guy has veritable emotions (and is willing to warble about them), but that he’s devoted something other than his video games and Fantasy team. (I have nothing against either of those things, so long as they are complimented by some serious feelings-making and/or flannel). I am also from Idaho by means of Minnesota, which means that any guy with a cabin is a guy I would like on the top of my boyfriend list. Don’t lie: even if you’re from Texas and don’t know what a cabin or a “forest” is, you still like the idea. Like a lot.
The second part involves Bonnie Raitt.
Yes. Bonnie Raitt. If your mom owned a copy of any Bonnie Raitt album or CD and you listened to it at any point between ages 5 and 25, then you understand why this is important. I haven’t thought about this much until Bon Iver started covering Raitt on national television and telling the Times that she’s one of his major influences (and that he’d love nothing more than to produce an album for her). But his affection for Bonnie Raitt betrays the same unspeakable attractiveness as the disclosure that he minored in Women’s Studies in college. I mean, this guy LOVES WOMEN. Not loves women the way that say, Kanye loves women. Like the way that a guy who actually thinks of women as people loves women.
I mean, when he sings this medley of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” and “Nick of Time,” I really think something inside me shatters. I basically cry every time. (Click that link; listen to it now). I don’t know if this entirely makes sense — if other people, male or female, have the same reaction to Bonnie Raitt and what her music, especially from the late ’80s and early ’90s, seems to stand for in the heart. It evades language, to some extent, but it has something to do with hearing a grown woman talk about love and sadness and desire, and doing so fearlessly. For Bon Iver to sing Bonnie Raitt — and to sing those songs in particular — is tantamount to unlocking my heart, however cheeseball that sounds. Only a real man can say he loves Bonnie Raitt; only a real man can major in women’s studies; only a real man can sing with a super high voice about broken hearts.
Only a real backwoods Bonnie Raitt-singing boyfriend can make thinning blonde hair and scraggly beard so. damn. hot.
So there we go. Am I right or am I right?
