Notes on Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio
Subtitle: Why is this relationship so barfy?
I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel this way for the last three weeks. The first time I heard about Blake Lively “spending time” with Leonardo DiCaprio — and then photographed hugging at Cannes — I thought WHOA, GOOD PUBLICIST, LIVELY.
But then, as it became clear that this was really a thing, I realized that I HATED it. Some potential couplings make you happy (this mostly happens when two people you liked seeing together in a movie get together in real life — see especially McGosling (The Notebook), Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder (Vampire Diaries), Bill and Sookie (True Blood, I don’t even know Bill’s real name, bygones), KStew and RPattz (Twilight). We like (most) of these romances because their existence in real life somehow authenticates the fictional romance. See, Edward and Bella do love each other! (Or, alternately, an off-screen romance suggests that the fictional love story IS JUST SO POWERFUL that anyone involved in the filming of it would just naturally fall in love). Simply put, real life romances make us feel less silly for investing/feeling moved/relying on certain scenes of The Notebook to carry us through 99% of hungover/post-breakup mornings.
When the couple has nothing to do with making us feel better about our relationships with fictional characters, then it’s all about how we feel about two images and their fit. As for their actual interactions, the way they challenge each other, or the fact that love doesn’t always make sense to people outside of the relationship, none of that matters. Again, it’s not about a relationship between two people, but a relationship between two images — and the way we feel about the resultant image, the “relationship” image as it were. Just like a star image is the sum of its signifying parts — the way the star appears at premieres, in actual films, in sweats at the supermarket, in advertisements, in interviews — so too is the relationship the sum of the couple’s appearances (or lack thereof) in public, the way they speak of each other in interviews, the way they produce (or don’t produce) children.
A couple like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a tremendously popular/palatable relationship image. Their individual star images compliment each other (both have images whose dominant meanings are “sexy,” “talented,” “aloof”), and their relationship image is still sexually charged, yet also maternal/paternal, charitable, intelligent, savvy, and highly cosmopolitan/global.
Now, I know I’m not the only person who feels this way about Lively and DiCaprio, as many readers and Facebook followers of the blog have voiced their agreement. But what is it that makes this relationship so offensive?
Let’s do a quick run-down of their respective images.

OUR BOY LEO:
*Child star of inordinate talent and promise
*Heartthrob to millions worldwide (babyface makes him all the easier to love)
*Hollywood playboy with “Pussy Posse” of close male friends in his late teens/early ’20s (although this part of his image isn’t as well known)
*Survives transition to adulthood to became star in cerebral and/or politically engaged thrillers and Scorsese’s new muse (in other words: a big, respected star that draws both male and female audiences)
*Managed to transform his boyish cuteness into visceral hotness (see especially sex scene in The Departed)
*Dates supermodels; long-term on-and-off-again relationships with Gisele (pre-Tom Brady) and Bar Raefli. (No inclination towards long-term commitment or marriage; no children)
*Becomes involved in environmental causes; appears on cover of Vanity Fair Green Issue
*Longterm star who has paid his dues and has a firm grasp of both his image and his career. Well-respected both within the industry and amongst his audience, despite lack of “traditional” romances.
OUR GIRL LIVELY:
*Teen star of dubious talent. ”Break-out” role in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, in which she attracts an older (college age!) soccer coach and (big sigh!) loses her virginity.
*Best known for role of “Serena” in Gossip Girl, a show that manages to have disappointing ratings yet tremendous cultural influence. Obviously the weakest link of the show (perhaps second only to Little J) despite having the best hair.
*Becomes known for great legs, great hair, and great boobs, about which there is much speculation as to their real-ness.
*Long-term relationship with her co-star (and sometimes on-screen boyfriend) Penn Badgley.
*In part due to her character’s expansive and innovative wardrobe, becomes a “muse” of the fashion industry. Karl Lagerfield loves her; calls her “America’s Dream Girl.” Face of Chanel bag line. Anna Wintour puts her on the cover of Vogue. TWICE. Named to Vogue’s “Best Dressed” list.
*Small supporting role in Ben Affleck’s The Town, in which she plays a trashy Bostonite. Mumbles through her lines.
*Nude cell-phone self-portraits leaked on the internet. Lively denies that they’re her, but they pretty obviously are. Boobs looking quite fake.
*Supporting role in The Green Lantern universally panned.
Now, most of what I’d like to conclude about Lively’s overall image has already been said by Molly Lambert in her amazing Grantland piece from last week, which I simply cannot recommend highly enough.
The best bits:
lake Lively is “rich pretty.” So is Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s a kind of prettiness that’s bound up with showing off how much money you’ve spent. Designer labels only, flat-ironed/wavy hair with lots of upkeep, super skinny, sensibly nice tits.1 Blake Lively in a Forever 21 dress is just another beautiful girl. Blake Lively in Chanel is a different creature, an idea called “Blake Lively.” An excuse for the fashion industry to promote boring standards of beauty and wealth through an aspirational avatar…..
….Blake Lively would actually make a great Daisy Buchanan in Baz Luhrmann’s terrible idea for a Great Gatsby movie.3 Daisy is the American archetype of an unattainable rich girl. Pretty, vapid, prone to dancing drunk on tables. Equal parts Paris Hilton and Paris Review. Daisy is not a great character of fiction, because she isn’t much of a character, really. She’s just a collection of fetishistic feminine and WASP traits, with a laugh that sounds like money….
…..Lively is positioning herself as A-List without having any real A-List credentials, besides her part in The Town, which she is still banking on to suggest that she is suited for A-List roles. It’s very Internet age of her to publicly declare herself A-list when evidence of her acting talent is still scant at best. It is an extremely calculated series of superficial career moves that lead to being the Green Lantern’s girlfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio’s staged-photo dream date, and on several covers of Vogue…..
And most importantly:
But how is Blake Lively positioning herself for the long-term? Are any people really “Blake Lively fans”? Could Blake Lively open a movie on her own? Will she start taking Kate Hudson’s terrible romantic-comedy leftovers? At least Kate Hudson has Almost Famous to remind us that she can be a very good actress. What does Blake Lively have? A TV show on which she plays the sympathetic main character’s richer, prettier, more vapid best frenemy Serena van der Woodsen, spiritual heir of Daisy Buchanan?
Now, I realize I just cribbed about 50% of that article. That’s how good it is — and how much I want to direct you to its home to read the rest. But part of the reason it’s so good is because Lambert gets to the heart of what’s offensive and unlikable about Lively: she’s playing above her pay grade. She skipped a step (or five) and is suddenly dating A-Listers, fancying herself an A-Lister. Lots of A-Listers lack in talent — John Travolta — but have, without doubt, paid their dues, and earned their place on the A-List. But skipping ranks? That’s downright unAmerican.
Someone can become solidly B-List by being horrible in films, appearing in television shows, or being pretty/having a nice body. Megan Fox, I am so talking to you. But A-List requires some sort of distinguishing talent, longevity, or enduring cultural resonance. And Blake Lively seems wholly devoid of actual talent, which is why the idea of “rich pretty” is so salient. She is the sum of her beautiful body parts, but none of them are in any way unique or distinguishing. There’s no Angelina Jolie lips, no Reese Witherspoon heart-shaped face. Indeed, all of her beautiful parts could be yours with a personal stylist, trainer, hairdresser, and plastic surgeon. She never says anything witty or interesting in interviews. Her clothing is beautifully tailored to fit her body and always interesting — but always seems very much like it was chosen by someone else, and she’s just modeling it. I mean, Angelina Jolie may pick some hideous dresses, but there’s very rarely the feeling that she’s someone else’s Barbie. There’s just an overwhelming sense that this girl is a blank slate of a body and performer, attempting to define herself through her association with others. I realize that this is not unique, but it does account for my general dislike.
Lambert’s piece has effectively guided me towards an answer to my initial question. Why do I hate this relationship? Most obviously, their individual images don’t mesh. Despite his womanizing past, DiCaprio’s dominant image is that of a well-respected A-Lister, someone who has worked his way through Hollywood and matured as an actor, activist, and individual….even if his relationships with women have not been exactly “solid.” Importantly, and perhaps because he’s a man, the parts of his sexual/relationship history that are less flattering are easily ignored. Lively, by contrast, is young, immature, and playing above her level. Even with the respect of the fashion communities and legions of lusty dudes, she’s still just a body, not a star. Plainly put, her image doesn’t “deserve” DiCaprio’s. She’s being uppity. She needs to date some more CW stars before she climbs the ladder to Oscar nominees.
As for their relationship image, it’s still in its early stages. The first photograph of them as a couple was a brilliant maneover on the part of their publicists: grainy, obviously paparazzi (although they were almost certainly tipped off), with an obvious connotation of an “intimate” moment not meant for public consumption.

Of course, this moment was absolutely meant for public consumption — if they were actually being careful and didn’t want the relationship public, they wouldn’t hold hands in public, even if it was Europe. But the photo’s aesthetic strongly suggests that the relationship is not a publicity stunt, forming a sharp contrast to, say, the first pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Since then, DiCaprio and Lively have apparently been gallivanting around the rest of Europe and the United States, sightseeing in Verona and going to Disneyland. This seems very clunky to me. Verona?!? As in the site of Romeo and Juliet? As in the setting of the movie in which Blake Lively probably saw him when she was still, oh, 5? AND DISNEYLAND? Brangelina can go to Chuck-e-Cheese’s and I think it’s great; these two at Disneyland makes me feel the same way I did when Ryan Gosling took Olivia Wilde to the aquarium.
Whatever happens with this relationship, I don’t know how much it will actually affect DiCaprio’s image, other than bolster the notion that he can attract some of the most beautiful women in the world. As for Lively, she might ride this for increased gossip visibility, a handful of Us and Life and Style covers, and enough buzz to make people forget how horrible she was in The Green Lantern. But will it make her an actual A-Lister? If she has no fans, no charisma, and no talent, how will she remain relevant? Or is the power of the beautiful, albeit “rich beautiful,” body enough to sustain her stardom?
Serena Van Der Woodsen would just go find a professor or a Prince to marry. But what will Blake do?
The Teen Show Barbie Body
Take a look at the girls below. Notice anything?

You might not recognize them — they’re the stars of Pretty Little Liars, a teen show I just began watching at the prompting of Louisa Stein, who argues that the show combines the mystery of Veronica Mars and the technological surveillance of Gossip Girl. It’s an implausible show, in part because we’re supposed to believe that 16 year-olds regularly attract 22-25 year old (hot, gainfully employed) men. But few teen shows are plausible (they don’t do homework on Vampire Diaries; then again, there are also vampires, so who’s got time for schoolwork?), and when I’m looking for social realism, I can always rely on my beloved Friday Night Lights or My So-Called Life (rest in peace, you masterpieces of television).
But again, look at these girls. What do you notice?

Now take a look at the girls from The Vampire Diaries:
Get it? ALL THESE GIRLS LOOK THE SAME. And it’s not just these two shows: this look is endemic to teen television, with slight variations for place. (Gossip Girl, for example, is more fashion forward). But look at these body types: tall, relatively small breasts, pilates-toned (a teen version of the Jennifer Aniston body), and long, slightly wavy hair, parted slightly to the side, with no bangs. Eyes made up using a combination of liquid eyeliner and shimmer; soft blush and ample amonts of lip gloss. Heels and short skirts to show off thin thighs. No piercings, no tattoos. And while there is a slight variation in skin tone — one of the PLL characters is of ambiguous heritage (the actress is part Philippino) and Bonnie from TVD is black (descending from the Salem witches!), their facial features are all remarkably similar, which is to say, Anglicized. (In blunt langage, Bonnie does not have traditionally “African” features). (This phenomenon is part and parcel of a practice known as “blind casting”; I highly recommend reading more on it (and the casting of Bonnie in particular) over at Dear Black Woman). It’s as if these girls are all the same doll, just with slightly different hair coloring and shades of skin.
I realize that teen shows, even more than other television, are where trends (in fashion, in body type) coalesce. This isn’t necessarily anything new: I mean, the girls of the original 90210 all kinda had the same hair and body type going on, right?
But look closer: Tori Spelling doesn’t have bangs, Kelli and Brenda have legs that are not twigs, and Andrea (Andrea!), you have a perm and glasses!
Or My So-Called Life:
In this show, clothing and hairstyle meant so much, and oh, Angela’s white and blue and black dress (you know the one I’m talking about) I still covet you. The way her old friends and new friends dressed said so much about the person that Angela was, the person she was becoming. And the red hair! And Ricky!
Friday Night Lights is a bit more prettified (seriously, Tim Riggins, why didn’t you live in my small football town?) but at least there are girls who don’t wear the same “uniform,” who have hips, who even have (gasp!) short hair. Or who dress the way that someone without access to a mall, let alone a personal stylist, might dress.
Or take Veronica Mars, where the girls who look the same are the bad ones; the ones that look different, whether Veronica or Mac, are the interesting ones) or my most recent favorite Misfits (Kelly! Alicia! You look NOTHING like those girls above, and I love you!)
So what’s the point?
I don’t think that teens look at these images and say I MUST BE THAT GIRL, or I must drink like those girls, hook up like those girls, shoplift sunglasses like those girls. I don’t put any stake in moral panic over specific media texts (e.g. the recent fervor over the American Skins). But I do think that these images form a constellation of the ideal body and look of our cultural moment, and that look is white (or white-looking), very thin, small-breasted, moderately athletic, and with the type of hair that is impossible or requires a tremendous amount of labor. Although many girls are smart enough to know that not everyone can look the same (or look like the ideal), some girls, and I was totally this type of girl, strive towards the ideal, which, according to the bulk of media texts today, is this body and this look. Which can only mean eating disorders, disappointment, over-spending, and body shame.
Now, not everyone works for the great bland middle: in fact, most of the awesome adults you know today were probably those who resisted that urge in some way. But the draw remains. This is why it’s so tragic that shows like FNL, My So-Called Life, and even Freaks & Geeks get cancelled: they present teens looking, for the most part, like normal teens, but they also manage to convey the feeling that most have in high school that NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS…..even as they poke fun at that very sense of gravity. It’s not so much that they celebrate difference (something Glee ostensibly attempts to do, although the majority of these “gleeks” look like the girls pictured above) as much as they show that difference is the rule, rather than the exception.
Contrast this attitude with Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Diaries, the new 90210, and Gossip Girl, where everyone somehow manages to look the same, and if they don’t, it’s because they’re the villain or the town wacko. All these girls are pretty, skinny, and possess decent acting skills. But there’s not a single distinctive quality about any of them (I mean, I guess one has big eyes and a more heart-shaped face? Is that distinctive?) They’re television actors, and while they might dabble in film, they’ll almost certainly never move on to true stardom.
In contrast, the truly great film stars, both historically and today, have been those who most likely were awkward or funny looking as children, and whose appearance was marked by some distinct feature: think Bette Davis’s eyes, Garbo’s cheekbones, Bacall’s brow, Clara Bow’s flaming red hair, Paul Newman’s eyes, Bogie’s scowl, Marilyn Monroe’s open mouth, Mae West’s figure, Brando’s hooded eyes, George Clooney’s grin, Julia Roberts’s smile, Angelina Jolie’s lips. As the poet Marvin Bell would say, they’re not beautiful, exactly; they’re beautiful, inexactly — and in a way that absolutely demands attention.


An iconic star is something greater, more profound, than beauty and skill. It’s part gravitas, part charisma, part something unspeakable. Their iconic status stems from their individuality, their resistance to duplication, the unique impression they make on the viewer. [Of course, looks are a major part of this, but it's also the way that a particular star seems to embody some essential component of the current cultural moment: Marilyn Monroe's reconciliation of sex and innocence, say, or Julia Robert's postfeminist image].
The girls featured above are little more than their beautiful, skinny parts. They are proof positive that a combination of good skin, a near-starvation diet, hair extensions and an expensive straightener might get you a gig on an evening soap. But to get your name in lights — to actually become a star — you have to look and “be” unique enough to challenge the ideal…..rather than simply mirror the existing one.
KE$HA: There’s No There, There.
One morning, a Tenneesee-born girl of moderate talent with the somewhat unique name of Kesha (rhymes with Mesh-a) woke up, signed with this guy Dr. Luke, met with a phalanx of advisers, and then, because she liked having money, or because plain old Kesha might sound too boring, decided to change the ‘S’ in the middle of my name to [GET THIS, THIS IS SO CLEVER, YOU GUYS!] a DOLLAR SIGN. So instead of Kesha it’ll be Ke$ha, get it? You don’t pronounce the dollar sign. And so this year’s newest pop phenomenon was born.

Dr. Luke, often working in collaboration with Swedish producer Max Martin, is responsible for the vast majority of songs that are probably running through your head at any given moment: ”Party in the U.S.A.,” Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,” Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream,” “California Girls,” and “I Kissed a Girl,” every song of Kelly Clarkston’s ever and Britney’s “Circus.” Britney’s a good comparison here, as Ke$ha is what would happen if Britney climbed in a dumpster, lived there for two weeks, sustaining herself on coffee grinds and used condoms, started going crazy and clawing herself and matting her own hair, and climbed back out again, much skinnier, much dirtier, and with eye makeup that looks a coal and glitter plant exploded all over her face.
Ke$ha first entered the public consciousness as the girl singing on Flo Rida’s ridiculously irresistible “Right Round” — a song that uses the hook from the original “Right Round” and couples it with a few verses of meaningless, innocuous, catchy rap verses. Ke$ha had been hanging out at the studio; they needed a female voice; it sounded good. But they didn’t pay her or put her name on the song title — no “Featuring Ke$ha” — so she refused to be in the video or promote the song in any way, a decision she chalks up to knowing her worth as a potential star. And Ke$ha certainly does think she’s valuable: at some point during this formative period, she snuck onto Prince’s gated compound because she so wanted to give him a demo and convince him to produce her. She was caught and thrown out — and now Prince is touring with Janelle Monae, a woman of clear and distinct talent — but Ke$ha’s big break was yet to come. [Note: I'm being deliberately sketchy on the details of her past, as they haven't really been forwarded nearly as much as those of, say, Britney. Ke$ha seems to have been born as a grown woman dressed in trash, rather without history -- a point I'll come to in a bit.]
“TiK ToK,” the first single from Ke$ha’s first album, was slowly let loose in late 2009. From there it spread….and spread….and spread, infecting all in its path, like an STD on a small college campus. It held the #1 spot for nine weeks straight and, in the process, permanently engrained itself into the minds of any person who happened upon a Top 40 station on the radio dial. Here’s where I took note. I have what I’ll term a “fondness” (some may call it a “weakness”) for Dr. Luke/Max Martin pop songs. I rather loathe Katy Perry, but I could listen to Teenage Dream for the rest of my life. And Britney! Even that Flo Rida song! It’s makes me run REALLY FAST, you guys. I admit, I was initially drawn to this TiK ToK-ness. But here’s the thing: the other Dr. Luke/Max Martin songs are catchy in part because of how innocuous they are. There’s nothing super annoying, cloying, or disgusting about any of them. They’re SMOOTH. But with “TiK ToK,” I knew there was something off. Sure, other pop songs use the weird spelling — Clarkston’s “Since U Been Gone,” for example [It's to appeal to the way that TEENS THINK, get it?] But for every totally innocuous line (I’m talking pedicure on our toes, toes/Trying on all our clothes, clothes/Boys blowing up our phones, phones”) there was a truly ridiculous, nearly non-sensical one to follow. The best two: “Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack/’Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back” and “The dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger/But we kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.” Rolling Stone summed up the song as “repulsive, obnoxious and ridiculously catchy.”
There have been all sorts of parodies of these lyrics — people doing a literal interpretation; others cussing Ke$ha for being stupid enough to brush her teeth with whiskey — but what really got to me was the fact that these aren’t even FANTASY or EVOCATIVE lyrics. I have no mental picture. These are just RHYMING lyrics. What are we going to rhyme with “coming back?” Oh, “Bottle of Jack!” What about “Hear we got swagger?” MICK F-ING JAGGER! But again, this makes no logical sense: even if you’re a binge drinking young woman, as Ke$ha purports herself to be, you wouldn’t brush your teeth with the Jack, you would DRINK it. And are you telling me that Ke$ha only goes for guys over 70? These songs have been big hits overseas — in part because the beat works just as well when you have NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S SAYING. The words are meaningless.
Okay, I get it, not all pop songs make sense. But this was only the beginning of the weird disconnect. When she dances, it’s like something’s off — she’s a half second behind the beat, her dancers aren’t all in unison, the sets are low-budget, her eyes don’t seem to be tracking correctly, her costume seems like she’s the opening act at a college talent show. A year ago, The Awl made the very astute observation that Ke$ha’s performances look like sorority rush skits, and I could not agree more. The Awl also points out that “thanks to the Internet, and the whole “death of shame” trend to which it is both handmaiden and accelerant, the separation between famous people and people who really want to be famous has gotten as narrow as Keira Knightley standing sideways.” And that’s part of what it is with Ke$ha — she really shouldn’t be a famous person. She could maybe be the Homecoming Queen at my high school, but she lacks that certain something that makes mediocre talents, like Britney, into superstars. When people have charisma, whether they’re Obama or Britney or Brad Pitt or Kanye, you don’t begrudge them their success and fame. They are special; they have talent, even if it’s just talent at embodying a particular brand of sex, and they deserve it. But Ke$ha, like so many other pop stars before her, is the result of a smart producer taking a pretty face, a modicum of talent, and catchy music and packaging it into a highly edible yet calorie-free piece of candy. But you know what happens when you eat calorie-free candy? You get diarrhea.
So where does this feeling of upset stomach come from? An overabundance of something that Lainey Gossip is fond of referring to as “try.” This girl (and her management team) is trying really, really hard to be something — slutty? sexy? wacky? — but the problem is that she’s aiming for all types at once. Her attempts at being unique and odd all come off as something just off the mark: her style, for example, which she calls “garbage chic,” features the aforementioned matted hair, smudgy make-up, lots of glitter and face paint, and, in her words, “embracing imperfection rather than hiding her flaws.” But the TRY in this “garbage chic” is way too evident. I know that you’re trying to make a joke about the fact that your image is rooted in a certain “white trash” aesthetic and sexuality, and “owning” that by actually manifesting the “trash” on your body and face, but the seams in that trash dress are showing, girl, and your perfectly derelict make-up is melting off your face, but not really in the way that you want it to. Sure, Lady Gaga wears crazy shit, and her effort in attempting to be weird and potentially transgressive is certainly apparent. But then again, she actually is weird. Oh, you didn’t think that wearing cigarette glasses was weird? Well what about THIS MEAT DRESS. [Ke$ha tried to out-do the meat dress at the American Music Awards a few weeks ago, showing up in a dress made entirely of VHS "innards." With a VHS tape in hand, just in case you didn't get it.] Point being: Ke$ha is trying hard to be weird — she even wrote a philosophy and coined a name for her style — but really she’s just using derelict clothes as a way of showing more skin. In fact, that’s what she looks like — part of the “Derilicte” fashion collection in Zoolander.
In that movie, the collection was a way of harpooning the fashion industry’s tendency to create fashion so ridiculous as to be laughable, all in the name of attracting attention. Now, if Ke$ha actually understood herself — and her image — as a critique of the rest of the pop industry, we might have ourselves something. While I don’t find Gaga to be as emancipatory or transgressive as some others do, I do think that she very much understands the aspects of pop culture that she’s satirizing, parodying, or blowing out of the water. Ke$ha, on the other hand, is so entrenched in pop culture that any potential trangression of “garbage chic” was co-opted before it even whispered critique. She’s Britney/Gaga/Madonna Lite — all signifier, zero substance. Her ahistorical-ness stems from the fact that she could have been programmed by a computer — a “sexy robot” meant to arouse prurient and pop desires. In this way, she is the embodiment of what the postmodernists warned us about; the culmination of late stage capitalism, where economic imperatives (make money by getting teenagers to buy ring tones!) hollows out all meaning, the spectacle that distracts us from the fact that nothing — no politics, no soul, not even charisma — lies beneath. In short: THERE IS NO THERE, THERE.
Evidence to this fact abounds — in the way that she looks on her album cover (Is she Shakira or Britney? Sexy or dirty? Homeless or on heroin? In the jungle or the garbage can?) In other pictures, she’s snarling at the camera, making herself look as unattractive, mean, blase, or spunky as possible — but isn’t she just posing? And isn’t a pose no more than putting your body in a shape that evokes a feeling…..rather than actually conveying the feeling itself?
See this at work in the new-ish video for “We R Who We R,” in which she boasts “got that glitter on my eyes/stockings ripped all up the sides/looking sick and sexified….”
Now take a look at the way that she looks in this video: is she pretty? Well, not exactly. She has all the signifiers of what our culture takes as pretty — tan skin, slightly emaciated body, long blond hair, blue eyes — but again, there’s something off, and it’s not just the fact that she’s put faux jewels all over her eyebrows. She’s not sexy; she’s sexified. My partner-in-crime (and past contributor to this blog) Alaina insists that it looks like she’s on drugs — not the “fun” kind of drugs, but the serious anti-depressant-type drugs, the kind that Britney was obviously on when she made her disastrous “come-back” appearance at the VMAs several years ago.

A certain hollowness to the eyes, which you can see in full effect below, as she takes viewers to her favorite “hang” in Los Angeles — a strip club.
Or take a look at her Tweets, which are meaningless, empty evocations of sex, and confusion:
Maybe Ke$ha is like a stripper: she has all the parts that should make her hot, sexy, popular, etc., but really, when you get down to it, it just makes you sad that this is what it takes for a woman to make money these days.
The funny thing is, the critical mass seems to subconsciously realize this, but comes up with other ways of talking about it. The New York Times did a feature on her back in the early halcyon weeks of TiK ToK and spent a full article marveling at the fact that a white girl could, in their words, “rap.” [I don't actually think she's rapping in her songs so much as TALKING.] For the Times, Ke$ha’s “sass-rap” is “all part of the continuing deracination of the act of rapping, which used to be inscribed as a specifically black act, but which has been appropriated so frequently and with such ease that it’s been, in some cases, re-racinated. The very existence of the casually rapping white girl reflects decreasingly stringent ideas about race and gender.” Or, as Ke$ha puts it, “Rap in general has never been my steez, but I like it.” In other words: this girl, and the popularity of her “sass-rap,” underlines the fact that the vast majority of rap and/or hip-hop has been evacuated of politics, transgressiveness, and racial specificity, leaving white girls talking about their cell phones and pedicures as evidence of the sad shell that remains.
I don’t think pop music has gone over to the dark side, or in some way signifies the implosion of culture. For every Ke$ha, there’s a Gaga, a Robyn, a Rihanna, even a Taylor Swift, proving that pop music may be anchored on popular images and catchy choruses, but it doesn’t have to be empty. In a few years, Ke$ha will be forgotten. She touches no nerves; she treads no new ground. Her songs don’t speak to anyone because they don’t speak at all. They pulse, they make people dance, but they don’t stick. Which is why she’ll evaporate so painlessly from pubic consciousness in five to fifty years: a soulless image leaves no trace.
Taylor Swift: Winning the Celebrity Game
Taylor Swift’s new album, “Speak Now,” sold a million copies this weekend — the first million-plus opening weekend since 2008. She’s being hailed as the savior of the music industry (old news; they said the same when “Fearless” has sold over 6 million copies since its 2008 release. Swift herself is the music industry’s best case scenario: she’s young, beautiful (in a uniquely feline sort of way), confident, unaffiliated with Disney, and without scandal (of her own incitement). Put it this way: she’s not Demi Lovato, nor is she Miley. And she’s certainly not Britney. There are no reports of substance abuse, body issues, or fights with over-bearing and/or exploitative parents. More than Lovato, Cyrus, or Spears, Taylor is business savvy. Her Twitter feed is a publicist’s dream, equal parts cute, confessional, and gracious. For your perusal, a smattering of recent Tweets:

This post is not a lengthy break-down of Taylor Swift’s image — a task that needs to be done. I’d advise you to check out Feminist Music Geek’s take, read Lainey’s coverage of any one of the million cute/nice/endearing things she does (here, here, here), or talk to anyone you know about their feelings about her — she’s seriously the most palatable American media product since, oh, Friends. Which is not to diminish her talent: unlike Feminist Music Geek, I actually like her songs, especially “Fifteen,” and find her pretty charming. The fact that she writes her songs is also heartening, especially in light of the male-producer-female-monsters of late — Ke$ha, I’m talking to you.
She’s still friends with her best friend from high school (who also gets a de-virginization call-out in “Fifteen”) and has sleepovers with celebrity BFF Selena Gomez. She likes sparkly things and doesn’t dress up as a giant bird in her grotesquely sexualized videos. This is a teen music idol I can get behind. (And no, it’s not that I don’t think teenagers and sexuality are mutually exclusive, but the way that Miley or Britney does it — neither one of those are the messages I’m hoping for young girls or, to be honest, for myself).
And here’s the thing: she seems authentically smart and self-possessed. Again, this is part of her image — she actually has talent! she has good parents! buy her records and endorse America! — but you can’t hide the fact that Swift, herself, is playing the guitar on-stage, which is in itself a stark departure from most teen (female) idols. She’s good at rhyming, at conjuring turns of phrase (I particularly like “You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter), and she invoked my high school favorite Tim McGraw in one of her first singles. More than any contemporary artist, Swift writes about the way that I personally felt as a teenage girl.

Obviously I looked like this every day of high school. Just add in a few more unfortunate button-ups from the Gap and you're set.
[Okay, admitted digression: Obviously I was the type to be super into Fiona Apple and early Sarah McLachlan in high school, but "Shadowboxer" and "Sleep to Dream" spoke to my most angry, tragic feelings -- not the ones that most closely resembled my quotidian existence. Therein lies Swift's palatability: her inoffensive comes off as authenticity as opposed to blandness. Now, I want every girl to experience a bit of angst and rage in their media diet, whether in the form of Go Ask Alice (do teenagers still read this?), Billie Holiday, Neko Case, or Harry Potter. But it's also nice for the middle-ground to be an image that's not hyper-sexualized and obviously collapsing under the weight of our scrutiny.]

Girl may be “on the bleachers,” as she admits in “You Were Made For Me,” but she plays the game, and she plays it well. Thus the crux of my argument: Swift is able to play the game so well because she has so thoroughly intertwined her “product” and her image. Granted, her image is just as much as a product of any other — and we buy it when we consume information about her. But the reason she’s been able to actually MAKE MONEY isn’t simply because she has a sweet voice and writes catchy lyrics, which she obviously does. Listening to a Taylor Swift song is like listening to gossip; following Taylor Swift’s life is basically mapping the future of her next album. And while many musicians write autobiographically, Swift has turned the twinning of song and life into a sport for gossips, media analysts, other celebrities, and music fans to observe.
Swift’s off-key Grammy’s duet with Stevie Nicks soured my affection somewhat, as did her presence in the ABOMINABLE Valentine’s Day — she wasn’t that bad, but her agreement to appear in that movie, even if as a slight spoof on her alter “popular” ego, was ridiculous. My disdain for that movie knows no bounds. It’s like Paris “Ebola” Hilton — touch it and you’re infected, Jessica Biel/Alba/every other bland star.
But this new album — this new album is filled with juice. And here’s where Swift’s skill as game player becomes clear. Because her art is in inherently confessional, each song is a mini gossip column, and will provide weeks, months, YEARS of fodder. This makes the above Tweet about the identity behind Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” all the more compelling — Swift is basically making a dozen of her own “You’re So Vains” for each album. With previous albums, the identities of those involved in the songs were more obscure — a Jonas brother, sure, and some high school dufuses. But now that she’s famous and dates famous people and finds herself in famous-people frays, her songs call out exes and foes Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and Kanye West.
Here’s Pop Eater on the specifics identities behind her songs:
‘Dear John,’ a song almost certainly about her brief relationship with Mayer. “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with … Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be played,” Swift sings on the track, which is accented with, per the Times, “pealing guitar licks, a hilarious and pointed reminder of Mr. Mayer, who’s a master of the style.”
She’s kinder to Lautner, the presumed subject of ‘Back to December.’ Of the track, Swift has said, “Whether it be good or bad or an apology, the person I wrote this song about deserves this. This is about a person who was incredible to me, just perfect to me in a relationship, and I was really careless with him. So, this is a song full of words that I would say to him that he deserves to hear.”
The problem, of course, and the difference between Swift’s “Dear John” and an iconic song like “You’re So Vain” is the amount of discretion. Swift has and will continue to receive a tremendous flurry of coverage not only for admitting to a fling with Mayer, but calling his self-obsessed ass OUT in song. Simon, on the other hand, has riden the supposed obscurity of the reference for DECADES. Warren Beatty? Mick Jagger? David Geffen? She even sold the knowledge of the true identity of its subjects of hundreds of thousands of dollars at an auction. That, readers, is how classic, enduring celebrity is done.
But that sort of esotericism does not work in contemporary media culture. Swift can’t be obscure in her references because people are too lazy, or their attention spans are too short, to actual cogitate on such things. Audiences want to believe they’re in on a secret, but that secret can’t be all that difficult to figure out — see the faux-secret/philosophy of Inception as a prime example, or the frustration with Lost when it got just *too* crazy. Swift’s thinly veiled references are just above a blind item — they titillate, but they, like her Twitter musings, also make her seem honest, transparent, pure, and open: the exact qualities we think we want in a celebrity. Take those qualities too far and you’ve got a reality celebrity; refuse to show them and you’ve got an Angelina Jolie, maligned by many as stuck-up and full of herself. (Where Kanye West lies in this continuum, I’ll leave to you?) For a celebrity to succeed, he/she must cultivate this fine balance of disclosure. Disclose too much? Tom Cruise, circa 2005. Disclose too little, or nothing at all? You’re an actor, not a star.
Swift has found this fine balance — mostly in song, but also in her “real” life, in which she is apparently “hanging out” with Jake Gyllenhaal. Dude’s nine year older than her, which I know isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but that’d be like me dating one of my sophomore students. [When I queried Twitter as to what the two of them could possibly have to talk about, the best reply came from the hilarious @FaybelleineW: "I just see tumbleweeds, or a lot of 'i'm so not gay' necking."] No matter — he’s hanging out backstage while she does SNL; they’re making googily eyes at each other in Big Sur. No making out, no illicit drug use, no breaking up previous relationships. Just good, clean, American fun, which can be gossiped about both now and when she writes the song about it in a year’s time.

This week, she’s on the cover of People, which promises “the untold story” — which, if my swift perusal at the dentist office this morning is to be believed, are actually just her admitting that the songs on her album are about past loves. BIG EXCLUSIVE, PEOPLE. Nevertheless, People speaks to the minivan majority, and her presence on its cover (and the broadcast of “disclosure”) only strengthens her position. More than any movie star, Swift has taken up the mantle of “America’s Sweetheart,” and she’s done it by carefully knitting her products to her personal life, allowing disclosures in one to stand in for confessions in the other. While Ellen does tease her about Jakey G, most of the time, the only thing people want to talk about are these confessional songs — she needs very little extraneous gossip or extra-textual material (no need for scandal!) save to provide future fodder for songs.
The head of Swift’s record company has claimed “The facts say she is the undisputed best communicator that we’ve got. When she says something, when she sings something, when she feels something, it affects more people than anybody else.” I don’t know about that. But I do know that she’s managed to make it seem like when she sings something, it’s communicating something real and authentic about her life — something that can be interchanged freely with an interview, a paparazzi photo, whatever. Her songs are taken as an authentic disclosure and record of her life, and they manage to keep her balanced in fine equilibrium between satisfying and annoying levels of confession and accessibility. She’s may be the savior of the music industry, but she’s also an example of how the celebrity game can be played today — and to tremendous profit. It remains to be seen, however, how long she’ll be able to keep the equilibrium in tact. At what point does songwriting become overindulgent? Will men no longer agree to date her lest they are shunned, scorned, or pitied in her songs? Or is there no greater contemporary celebrity honor than to be such a subject? Swift is the closest we have to a “successful” celebrity today — by which I mean someone who is likable, actually makes money, and even gets good reviews. But again…..can it last? Do 25-year-olds kiss and tell? For her to survive the game, she’ll need to find a new strategy, lest her strategy becomes too transparently manipulative for us to stomach.
Michael Cera is Buster Keaton
So I saw Scott Pilgrim today: in part on the advice of my general film sage Dana Stevens (who also writes for Slate and was my main reason for becoming a regular listener to the Slate Cultural Gabfest; listen here for their collective thoughts on Pilgrim), in part because I knew that it was something that would make me think — for better or for worse — about the state of cinema, youth culture, postmodernism, etc. etc. today.
And that it did. Feminist Music Geek has some excellent overarching thoughts on the film — like me, she found it rather masculinist (DUDE, THESE ARE CHARACTERS, NOT CUT-OUTS) but also recognizes the ways in which the film’s plot and 8-bit references hail our middle-class, educated generation.
I realized that while I’ve liked Michael Cera since his halcyon days on Arrested Development, and while dozens of others have commented on the rise of his particularly consistent brand of passive, quirky masculinity since appearing in Superbad, Juno, Paper Heart, Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist, Youth in Revolt, and now, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, I hadn’t really thought critically about what this consistently meant — or if it had antecedents.
I don’t particularly want to argue about whether or not Cera is the same character in all his films. I mean, he is. No question. While Feminist Music Geek points out that:
Cera’s screen persona tends to be defined by reticence, discomfort, displays of grave maturity that belie his age, and being put upon. Scott Pilgrim is supposed to be relentlessly youthful. Cera looks like he’s lived through 45 years of other people’s bullshit. But Cera struck a competent balance between how he’s defined himself and what’s expected of the role.
Nevertheless, he’s still playing a very slight — albeit necessary — version of the characters he’s played in other roles. Stumbling, mumbling, lacking general self-confidence, pining after a girl but lacking the verbal resources and gumption to tell her so. As those of you well-versed in this blog and its terminology, that’s his picture personality — the image of what Cera is based on the string of characters he has played thus far.
But here’s the kicker: there’s no outside. By all accounts, paratexts, interviews, pictures, what have you, there is no “real” Cera behind the picture personality. They are one and the same.
Now, several actors have built their success on versions of this idea — Gary Cooper, for example, was famous for just playing Gary Cooper onscreen. Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise, Cary Grant, Will Smith — all of them have been cited as exemplars of this particular sort of “matching” between picture personality and extra-textual personality. Of course, that’s part of what made them all stars: their “real” lives matched with their onscreen lives, making them more coherent, making their images more simple — which, in turn, makes each of them more likable. People who like these stars aren’t stupid, just as people who like a really good steak or a perfect peach aren’t stupid. The “taste” of each of these stars is so unified — so purely a manifestation of an authentic core, a pure “Gary Cooper-ness” — that it’s irresistible and near-universal. But as much as Julia Robert’s real life seemed to compliment her screen persona — see, for example, her whirlwind romance with Kiefer Sutherland right after Pretty Woman hit big — she never was Vivian. She wasn’t a prostitute. They both had big curly hair and liked boys, but there was no 1-to-1 correlation.
Cera, however, is a different story. He may not be a high school track athlete from Minnesota, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t disbelief the idea that the real Cera could have been. Nothing — and seriously, nothing — contradicts his onscreen roles. In short: Cera’s offscreen “self” is a pure extension of his picture personality.
You want evidence? Okay, let’s go.
As the Atlanta weatherman.
As the quirky cheek-kisser of Jason Schartzman.
Just chillaxing and getting a make-over with the cast of Jersey Shore
Improvising a song with Ellen Page for Jason Reitman the director of Juno
Trying to show that he’s not one-note on Letterman (most excellent clip of very young Cera on La Femme Nikita included; it does little show that when he tries to be “scary,” his “real self” shows through)
Ridiculously funny in the CBS web-series Clark and Michael
Interviewed “Between Two Ferns” by Zach Galifinakis on Funny or Die
Offering spectacular resume advice in “Impossible is the Opposite of Possible”
And I could go on and on.
To Note:
*The cadence, tone, and vocabulary in the above clips, all of them “extratextuals,” matches those of each of his film roles.
*Cera plays guitar; several of his film characters play guitar.
*His body never changes. His face never changes. His wardrobe never changes. His hair never really changes. No matter the film — save, of course, Year One and Youth in Revolt (see below). He looks the essentially the same today as he did when he started on Arrested Development.
*In the weatherman clip with Jason Schwartzman, he’s passive and awkward and uncomfortable, especially in comparison to the more outré partner in weather crime. Exactly like he is in every single one of his films.
*He’s friends in real life with the people who play characters in his movies. See also: Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen.
*He’s uncomfortable and out of place when faced with “cool,” social people of his own age (see: Jersey Shore). His recourse = awkwardly interact, pretend to be cool himself, even if that means making himself look like a fool (even literally — see his hairstyle at the end of the segment) in his attempt. Of course, this a-sociality is at the heart of his charm, but it’s important to note that it’s consistent both on- and off- the big screen.
*The evidence that he hasn’t always played the same role (see La Femme Nikita) in fact reaffirms the fact that he can’t play any other role. And certainly not someone evil. Which might be why his turn as someone moderately evil (or at least cool and cunning) as the alter-ego in Youth in Revolt was intended as a source of comedy.
Now, I realize there are slippages — at least three major ones:
1.) The Girlfriend (???).
Paper Heart was supposedly a fictionalized account of the relationship between Cera and Charlyne Yi. They may or may not have dated three years. But Yi has denied that they ever “actually” dated, even though Cera has denied her denial. Obviously the confusion was part of the intended aura surrounding the quasi-documentary. But I love the idea of Cera thinking he’s in a relationship with someone and the girl denying it — which could totally be a Cera plot point.
Still, there’s no girlfriend in “real” Cera life. But again, this is perfect: each of Cera’s movies is about getting a girl, but only at the film’s end. We never really get to see Cera in an actual relationship — he’s either recovering from a break-up or striving for a girl or both. To see him in the quotidien, contended relationship rhythms — even if it just meant holding hands at an awards show or premiere — would be out of character.
2.) The Arrested Development Reticence
In short, Cera has been the long hold-out on the Arrested Development movie, spear-headed by Jason Bateman. The rest of the cast signed on years ago; only Cera held out. Lainey Gossip attributes it to Cera’s prideful desire to build his own career. Indeed, now that his last few films have underperformed, he’s publicly voiced his intent to join the cast. So how do we read this? Coupled with the fact that Cera apparently bad-mouthed Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s short film at Sundance, are we to take this as evidence of Cera’s inner prickishness?
I think this can be read two ways. First, it’s been misinterpreted, or misreported. Second, and more likely, is that it’s the part of the Cera picture personality that comes out when he gains a modicum of power. It’s the part of Scott Pilgrim that cheats on Knives and can’t muster the courage to break up with her. It’s the part of Evan in Superbad that abandons his friends when they’re in trouble. There’s an inherent selfishness and self-absorption that comes with the pursuit of unrequited love.
3.) Year One???
So I haven’t seen this film. Why? It’s supposedly horrendous. Like really and truly unwatchable. Cera and Jack Black as……CAVE MEN! But here’s the thing: at least judging from the preview and clips I’ve seen, it’s just the same Cera personality, only in caveman clothes.
Like it’s Halloween on the set of Superbad or something. But recall: this film was a flop. We might attribute it to bad screenwriting, but as both Transformers and G.I. Joe attest, a bad movie does not necessarily entail a flop. Obviously, people weren’t into seeing Cera in a role in which he didn’t wear a hoodie and Converse. See also: Youth in Revolt, in which Cera “plays bad” for half the film. Big underperformer, even though it’s still half filled with vintage Cera. The lesson = audiences want their Cera persona served straight up, sans period costuming or evil dopplegangers.
The conclusion, then, and the way that I hooked you into clicking through to this blog post, is that Cera is this generation’s Buster Keaton. He doesn’t have the same performance style; he’s not as funny. But that’s not the point. Cera, like Keaton, is a comedian with no “outside.”
Keaton was one of the most accomplished (and my personal favorite) of the silent comedians — you can watch him here in one of my favorite of his short films, One Week.
As evidenced above, Keaton’s trademark was his straight face. In fact, it was so much a part of his picture personality — and his general appeal as a comedian — that his studio contract stipulated that he not smile in public.
Now, I don’t know exactly how this was accomplished (by all accounts, Keaton was a dour drunk in real life, so it might not have been too much of a stretch) but the effect was a clear, visual, one-to-one correlation Keaton’s picture personality and “real” self.
Even the 1920s version of the Youtube Video — aka the publicity photo — used Keaton’s picture personality to its advantage, as displayed in the shot below, taken to publicize Keaton’s move to MGM.
And when Keaton was desperate for money in later years, his picture personality was exploited once again — this time for Levy’s Rye bread.
Of course, Keaton was not altogether unique. Charlie Chaplin had a similarly unified picture personality centered on his depiction of “The Tramp” — but his un-Trampish antics off-screen were widely reported, including his multiple romances and marriage to a 16-year-old girl. The early silent comedians were part of a Hollywood that relied upon extremely close relation between picture and extra-textual personalities — see, for example, the star images of Gloria Swanson, Pola Negri, and Theda Bara.
Casting “against type” would not become a popular practice until the studio system. But casting against type was, and remains, the provenance of dramatic actors, as the ability to convincingly play different personalities and personas helps emphasize an actor’s dramatic (not comedic) talent. And while we generally associate dramatic transformation to those actors practicing The Method, that’s a relatively recent phenomenon. In the case of Bette Davis, this talent and hard work — her ability to play the bitch, the sympathetic mother, the Jezebel, the self-sacrificing woman — reinforced her overarching star image as a diligent, talented, hard-working actress.
Even now, a “good” actor, even a good popular actor, is someone who can convincingly play good and bad. Take Tom Cruise’s turn in Collateral, or Magnolia, for which he was nominated for an Oscar: proof-positive that he was more than just Tom Cruise playing Tom Cruise.
For comedians, however, it’s an entirely different game. When Robin Williams played “evil” in One Hour Photo, audiences didn’t know what to do with him. When Seth Rogen was a complete asshole in Observe & Report, again, people didn’t know what to do with him. John C. Reilly can do both evil and funny, but he’s a character actor. Will Ferrell always has to be the same guy — even when he’s an Elf, he’s the same guy. But he is married — to a total Swedish babe — and has a child, things his own characters may or may not do (maybe in Tallendega Nights?) Russell Brand seems to be the guy he plays in Forgetting Sarah Marshall in real life, although he will be appearing in Julie Taymor’s vision of The Tempest shortly. Sascha Baron Cohen not only has three distinct picture personalities, but an entirely “serious” and real self that has babies and gives straight interviews on Fresh Air.
My conclusion? We’re generally less interested in comedians extra-textual lives, as what makes them compelling — their humor — is difficult to generate off-screen. Steve Martin, Martin Sheen, Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy — we know relatively little about their real lives. But in the contemporary star environment, there’s no such thing as not being interested in someone’s extra-textual persona. You can’t just do a few talk shows and call it good. Extratextuals — making viral videos, doing off-kilter promotions — are just as, if not more, crucial in publicizing a movie as any trailer or billboard or interview. Stars are no longer contracted to the studios, but the current film environment is precarious and unstable; someone like Cera (and his films) will only thrive if he can keep up the consistency and basically provide sequels of himself, on-screen and off.

The necessity of Keaton’s particularly unified image said a lot about the state of silent cinema and the state of stardom during the period, and the same principle holds for Cera. The necessity for such coherency reveals more about the state of the industry (and our current needs in order to be drawn to a film or persona) then it does about Cera himself.


































